Koi fish in my tiny little pond

I have to say, I'm feeling right ornery tonight. Don't know why...perhaps it's reading Heather Armstrong's blog (the inimitable DOOCE) that does it to me every fucking time. She is so hilarious that my poor, dear monitor if frequently adorned with my tea when I come upon a line that makes my funny bone kick me involuntarily.
The thing is, I'm jealous...so insanely jealous of her ability to swear so well that I'm sure it's some sort of mental disorder. There are times, indeed, when her talent for mixing lovely swear words would come in handy.

Like when my dunce of a half brother keeps calling me, yet I keep hanging up. Funny, one would assume that when one doesn't return your calls or hangs up on you when you call, you would STOP making yourself look like a total moron. But alas, my dear half sibling has not quite caught onto that, thus the cycle repeats. It is for those situations that I would love to swear inventively, just so the bastard would get the POINT. It's not because I don't love my brother, he is family, after all. However, he really thinks that I am clueless when he only calls so that he can borrow money so his wife won't attempt to stab him again (she did do it once and I must say, she should've done a better job...he's still doing the same ridiculous things over and over and over like the Energizer Bunny on that foul Rockstar Energy drink).

I digress....Ms. Armstrong makes me happy to see that a woman can swear so well, remain popular and have intelligence. How cool is that??!