Koi fish in my tiny little pond

My lungs filled with liquid fire, an angry burning in my chest, in my mind. Your words, with their inordinate power to hurt more than heal at times...they confuse me and make me react in ways I'd rather not. You make it so easy to command the armour to do my bidding. So easy. I don't even know if I can trust your smile anymore because I keep seeing double meanings behind it. What is truth? What is real? What is it that you really want? I'm afraid that I can't give it to you...that I never had what you needed from the start but we both kept on pretending that I did anyway.

Part of me is really sad about that. It's like I can feel the ending coming in the heavy, pressured silence before a tornado strikes, destroying all in its path. We're becoming undone and all I can do is watch, numb and unsure. Where do we go from here? That's the million dollar question, isn't it? You take my hand, we laugh and laugh, but the crying and screaming from within can be heard for miles. Almost too late. Closer and closer to the edge, I step over into the emptiness and hope it won't hurt so much when I fall.